Actually, Diane Keaton May Still Be Alive?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 12 October 2025

image for Actually, Diane Keaton May Still Be Alive?
Maybe the result of a crash landing and a mix up?

True. If Diane Keaton’s death announcement was actually a hoax, a Halloween hoax, she may come back, sailing in and riding on top of 3I-Atlas, which may also be a Halloween hoax.

However, MAGA men are clutching their pearls, praying that 3I-Atlas sails past planet Earth and continues on its way to wherever.

However, they also fear 3I-Atlas may crash land on Earth, sending Earth into a spinning emotional nervous breakdown, just like the little lady in the kitchen, whose cheese soufflé collapses in a heap.

Dinner will not be served.  

Crash landing on Earth isn’t realistic. If 3I-Atlas came this far, maneuvering through the solar system, the Milky Way, and who knows what else, it won’t crash land. It is navigated by whatever intelligence, and it’s a good bet that whatever intelligence is pissed.  

That is, if 3I-Atlas isn’t a Halloween hoax and Diane Keaton isn't riding on top.

But why on Earth would whatever intelligence be pissed?

Perhaps, many, many years ago, a student had a project to seed empty planet Earth by sending a spaceship with test tubes containing genetic material from every bug, fish, animal, and human.

So Noah (the spaceship pilot hired by the student) wasn’t a good navigator, and the spaceship crashed landed on earth. Consequently, some of the species got mixed up. Take a good look at a rhinoceros. Case closed.

Editor’s note: Doesn’t that throw a monkey wrench into the Bible?

Reply: The Bible was written by old men who demeaned women and believed that the world was flat.

And if Diane Keaton’s death was just a hoax, like maybe 3I-Atlas, Happy Halloween.

What happens if both are not a hoax?

Dinner will not be served.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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