Donald Trump and Joseph Biden have come to a meeting of the minds and decided to withdraw from the 2024 election and open a tavern together.
Editor's note: Wait! This is a Spoof article, right? This really isn't happening, right?
Reply: Spoof journalists can not create this sort of announcement. This is the real stuff, the right stuff, or the it's about time stuff. Though no one wishes to ridicule or question Trump or Biden's sense of self-awareness and be accused of senior abuse, both have decided it is over.
First Lady Jill Biden thinks otherwise, announcing, "Joe didn't tell a single lie during the debate, and he answered every question."
Okay. Maybe.
She insists Joe was just fine and still superb in the sack. They enjoyed four hours following the debate, and Joe was eager to play a few sets of tennis with the male winner at Wimbledon. If coaxed, he'll repeat his River Dance performance on center court.
Not so fast. Joe had a different point of view. "Like my Aunt Nellie used to say, 'Joey, quit before old age and time burns a hole in your pants.'"
Donald Trump said, "I don't know what the hell Aunt Nellie meant, but Joe and I decided to bury the hatchet and open a cantina together as true partners. Melania? Not so much."
The Republican Party is silently relieved. Though never admitting it, the Republicans knew if Trump were elected, the dream of Democracy would go straight down the toilet, just like the Top Secret Documents Trump flushed away.
Or were they flushed east to Vladimir Putin?
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