PANAMA CITY, Panama - (Spoof Satire) - Info Today writer Kix Missoula has just learned that a member of Panama's Los Vatos Locos (The Crazy Guys) drug cartel is actually a transwoman.
Missoula learned that the tranny was born Constantino Cabeza de Vaca, but now after the SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) is known as Consuelo "Connie" Cabeza de Vaca.
Miss de Vaca says that she actually received her sharpshooting training from an ex-American boyfriend, who is a Navy Seal.
"Connie" refused to reveal his name because her former boyfriend is married has 8 children, and is living in Sonoma, Arizona.
SIDENOTE: Ms. Missoula added that de Vaca is a fantastic shot who can hit a woodpecker in its belly button from a distance of 200 yards. ■
