Everything was better in the old days
Everything was better in the old days
We all knew just where we stood
The posh people did all the politics
They said we’d never had it so good
The folks were so happy and jolly
We had polio, diphtheria and mumps
And our parents had tuberculosis
But they never felt down in the dumps
And everyone smoked like a chimney
They retired, keeled over and died
The nippers were stunted and sickly
And our food it was tinned, boiled or fried
Everyone stayed married for life then
Yes, marriages were often ill-fated
You couldn’t just leave if you wanted
Even when it was each other you hated
The men, they were manly and macho
They laboured for most of their lives
They got pissed up each night in the local
Then went home and beat up their wives
Back then we had nits, filth and scabies
It was great and we never complained
There were rumours and scandals and noises
But sex, it was never explained
We played in the street of an evening
Or swam in the local canal
We didn’t have bathrooms or tellies
Life was beige, dark grey and banal
We dreamt of a holiday at Butlins
A week in a tatty old chalet
While we had George Formby and Elvis
The toffs, they had opera and ballet
We didn’t like people who were different
In colour or race or in creed
But we really weren’t racists or bigots
On that we are firmly agreed
But we were all so bloody happy
We laughed and we smiled in our plight
And now I write nostalgic poems
And post them on Facebook each night
My friends click on “like” and remember
With rose-tinted spectacles on
Nostalgia is not what it once was
The good times have all been and gone
So, beware when you’re reading these poems
The sort that you see all the time
Full of clichés and sentimentality
But they con you in rhythm and rhyme
