Teddy "Dracula" Cruz reveals why he prefers inflatable dolls to biological women

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 10 October 2023

image for Teddy "Dracula" Cruz reveals why he prefers inflatable dolls to biological women
Ted has started drinking quite heavily with his beverage of choice being a Mimosa Margarita.

Tittle Tattle Tonight award-winning reporter Pico de Gallo recently had a back-and-forth texting session with Sen. Teodorofellio Cruz.

De Gallo noted that Cruz has become very strange, weird, abnormal, and bizarrely deviant.

The Guatemalan, Cruz, confided in de Gallo that he actually prefers inflatable dolls to biological women, or "Real Women" as New York shock jock, Howard Stern calls them.

He also stated, "None of my inflatable dolls talk back to me - and I love, love, love that."

"Dracula" commented that he is thrilled and ecstatic that his wife, the infamous Heidi Ho, whom the TrumpTurd said was a 1.5 compared to Melania, who is a strong 10, decided to divorce him.

Cruz did not want to mention H.H.'s cellulite, her varicose veins, her liver spots, her sagging tits, her bowlegs, her spider-veined ass, or her moustache.

He did reveal that she has an addiction to Hostess Twinkies, and that she devours at least five before retiring for the evening.

FYI: Heidi Ho is rumored to be dating a linebacker who plays for the NFL Washington Commanders.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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