These are some text messages that The Tittle Tattle Tonight News recently received.
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight - I will make you a $50 bet that my orange ass will be back in the White House when I win the 2024 presidential election.
-Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump
Mar-a-Lago, Florida
Dear Trumptard - Make it $1 million and we have a bet.
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight - Please stop saying that I want to get back into my sperm donor father's will. I DON'T!
-Ivanka Trump
The Hamptons, New York.
Dear Ivanka - Okey dokey hokey pokey.
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Dear TTT - You recently stated that I said that my girlfriend, Melania Trump told me that she loved me to the moon and back. Well what she actually said is that she loves me to Uranus and back.
-LeBron James
Los Angeles
Dear LeBron - Duly noted bro. And thanks for the autographed basketball.
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight - I just want to verify for the record that the Trumpturd did in fact use the "N" word at least 13 times in my presence.
-Yo Yo Afro Woke (African-American Rapper)
Detroit, Michigan
Dear Woke - And still the low-life, scum-sucking asshole has the unmitigated gall to say that he is NOT a racist. Plllllllease.
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Hey 3T - When I told your head reporter Pico de Gallo that Donald Trump Sr., caressed my sweet, sexy ass, it was off-the-record. It was not meant for you to publish it. I demand that you make a retraction.
-Kimberly Guilfoyle
Manhattan, New York
Dear Miss Guilfoyle - Nopers! We have the video of Trump ACTUALLY caressing your sweet, sexy, ass. You wanna see it?
