Rupert Murdoch Actually Controlled by Alien Hemorrhoid

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Thursday, 30 March 2023

image for Rupert Murdoch Actually Controlled by Alien Hemorrhoid
Cause and Effect Coming Outa Rupert's Ass

In a rare bout of toilet humor, in an interview with the Australia News Weekly, Rupert Murdoch says that he isn’t the one who uses his media outlet to spread right-wing propaganda to the world to try and “Make Fascism Fun Again” (MFFA), it’s something else that does it.

Something that lives inside his body … and that speaks to him in his dreams …

A large hemorrhoid that has yet to be cured or sandblasted from within Rupert anal cavity has grown so large that it has become sentient. The ‘roid avows that it is not human in origin, but a spore from another planet sent to implant itself into the assholes of assholes to make them even more assholey.

This of course brings speculation to the actions of all rich assholes around the world. Are they actually being controlled by ‘roids with attitude? Who is in control of much of the world? One man, a handful of people, or is it aliens?

Of course we all want it to be aliens ‘cuz they’re cool and lots of fun, but what if Rupert is guilty of his own crimes and is only using the hemorrhoid as an excuse to keep the fascist propaganda machine (especially Fox News) alive and churning out more hatred and lies?

Only the hemorrhoid knows for sure. The hemorrhoid is god! All praise and bow before the Great God ‘Roid! (sorry, it kinda got me there for a sec.)

Lock your doors and put a cork in your ass – or else Rupert and his Parasite Master (PM) may soon control you!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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