HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Hacienda Fiddle with Boom Boom News asked the inquiring question, "Who the hell knew that a Mini-Cooper could go 123 mph?"
She also asked who the fuck let Ann Heche, who is the ex-wife of Ellen DeGeneres, get behind the wheel of an automobile with an alcohol level of 7.3, (Anne, not the car).
Needless to say, there are dozens and dozens of unanswered questions like why didn't Annie just call for an Uber driver, or why didn't she just call one of her tens of thousands of fans; many of whom would have gladly driven her to Wyoming, or anywhere else she wanted to go.
Miss Fiddle spoke with Ellen DeGeneres, and asked her why she told Anne, after their breakup, to never, ever call her, even if she was drunk and needed a ride to avoid driving over 100 mph in a residential neighborhood where the posted speed limit is 20.
SIDENOTE: Word from info guru Andy Cohen is that the neighborhood HOA is getting ready to file a $32.7 million lawsuit against Heche on grounds of 1st Degree Vehicularwhatthefucititis.
