A Hollywood insider has leaked news from a major television studio head (who refuses to be named) that a new show is in the works starring ... Johnny Depp!
Fans loved seeing Johnny every day in the courtroom fighting the good fight against the evil succubus woman known as “The Unholy Heard”, that they just want more and more and more of Johnny.
Depp hasn’t been in his own TV show since 21 Jump Street, which launched his career, so there’s a lot of excitement in Hollywood for the new courtroom drama, “Depp Position!”
Johnny will go head-to-head with any star, male or female or whatever, who slanders his good name or just wants to accuse him of stuff he never said or did. Taking a page from the Jerry Springer show, Johnny will sit and smoke cigarillos, sometimes with his feet up (brand marketing for sponsor’s shoes or boots) during the show, and will have a costume change after each commercial break.
Lined up to take-on Depp are big names like Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson, Margot Robbie, Rihanna, and, of course (during sweep’s week) Winona Ryder!
The leaker couldn’t say what the court room topics will be, but they did hint that sometimes the person who goes up against Johnny will fight him in a bare-knuckle match during the last five minutes of the show, or, if they fall in love with Johnny, they may make sweet sweet love during the last 20 minutes of the show – which is most of the show.
The wrinkles in plotting are still being ironed out, but Hollywood is a-buzz with a renewed Depp fever!
Are you ready, will and able to get Depp Positioned, baby?
PS: Marilyn Manson now wants in on the courtroom drama with a lawsuit all his own! Soon, TV will never be hotter than celebrity millionaires suing each other to get richer and gain more fans!
