PORT CONNECTICUT, Connecticut – (Satire News) – Fans of the legendary Sasquatch, aka Big Foot, were both excited and amazed to hear that their “Hero” was spotted so far from its home state of Wyoming.
Port Conn, as the locals call it, is noted for being the home port of the United States naval destroyer the USS Battle of The Little Bighorn and the Goodyear blimp Thermopylae 2.
The legend of Big Foot first began on April 1, 1958, thanks to two reporters with National Focus Magazine, Burton Golliweed, 43, and his live-in girlfriend Elvira Hickateen, 27.
Golliweed & Hickateen, as they were known, wrote a story about them having been up in Wyoming hunting snow crabs and coming upon some gigantic footprints in the snow that looked like they were a size 17.
Soon after the article appeared in NFM, curiosity seekers by the hundreds began traveling to Connecticut, in hopes of catching a glympse of the snow creature.
SIDENOTE: Contrary to what some residents of the “Fly-Over” states (i.e. Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska, and Kansas) claim, Sasquatch and La Chupacabra are not the same thing. Sasquatch is a male with a wiener (penis) and “La Chupacabra” is a female with a muffin (vagina).
