A New Jersey Nun Caught With 6 Pounds of Peruvian Marching Dust In Her Nun’s Habit

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 28 October 2021

image for A New Jersey Nun Caught With 6 Pounds of Peruvian Marching Dust In Her Nun’s Habit
Sister Wanda Nancy has been described by priests as being feisty, funky, and bitter-as-hell!

HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle, has just broken the story that one of the nun’s at Hackensack’s prestigious Our Lady of The Wonderous Wonderment Church, has been busted at Hackensack’s Guido Sarducci International Airport.

Miss Fiddle says that Sister Wanda Nancy, 74, was frisked and upon the frisking procedure, custom’s agent Fredrick Farwicky, 47, found 6 pounds of highly refined Peruvian Marching Dust (cocaine) hidden in the sister’s designer Whoopee Goldberg granny panties.

At first Sister Wanda Nancy tried to say that the coke was not hers. She then stated that she was just merely holding it for Sister Imogene Jo, who recently turned 88.

Custom’s agents quickly took Sister Wanda Nancy into custody, and she was placed in a holding cell. She was stripped of her nun’s habit, as well as her Nike running shoes, and she was given an orange jumpsuit.

She started crying uncontrollably and remarked that she hated it because it made her look like some of Donald Trump’s former cabinet members.

SIDENOTE: Hacienda Fiddle is reporting that Father Cletus of Our Lady of The Wondrous Wonderment Church is in the process of having Sister Wanda Nancy banned from ever setting, even one foot, in any Catholic church in the continental 50 states.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more