LONDON – (Satire News) – London’s Ta Ta For Now News Agency is reporting that Parliament has voted to ban the interactive musical entertainment program known as Karaoke.
TTFN’s Loretta Piffinshaw stated that after receiving hundreds of complaints regarding extreme violence, Great Britain voted to do away with the musical merriment.
After extensive investigating, the recently divorced Ms. Piffinshaw, learned that pub owners were tired of all of the fistfights that were breaking out during Karaoke Nights due to people booing the Karaoke singers.
One Scottish bloke from Lillylips, Scotland, actually threatened to hit one of the not-so-good singers with his bagpipes.
Luckily for the singer the kilt-wearing Scotsman was instantly debagpiped by a 265 pound, extremely muscular female patron who drives one of London’s double decker busses.
The man, identified as Alistair Archibald O'Finicky, 83, was taken to the hospital where surgeons worked for 3 hours and 35 minutes, and were able to remove 93.7% of the bagpipe from his anal cavity.
Meanwhile Winston P. Timberdoddle, 89, who is the owner of The Robin Hood & His Merry Men Pub told the sexy-looking Loretta Puffinshaw that some nights the highly inebriated Karaoke patrons would get so upset, angry, and downright hateful, that they made rabid football fans look like Canterbury choir boys.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: England is actually the second country to flat out ban Karaoke. Bolivia outlawed Karaoke back in 2004, during the dreaded tonsillectomy outbreak].