American Idol Crowns 'Just Sam' the 2020 Winner!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 18 May 2020

image for American Idol Crowns 'Just Sam' the 2020 Winner!
This is the microphone that American Idol winner 'Just Sam' used in the finale.

HOLLYWOOD – Twenty-year-old former New York City subway singer 'Just Sam' has just been named the 2020 American Idol winner.

One of the songs she sang was the Roberta Flack classic “Hey, Bro, Don’t Cha Be Touchin’ My Booty, Lessen You Wanna Get Your Soul Pole Whacked”.

Katy Perry loved it, and said that she may record it on her next album.

Arthur Gunn, who is a native of Nepal, sang “The Theme Song From Friends”. After the show, he told Ryan Seacrest that he was going to return to Nepal and enter American Idol – The Nepal Version.

Luke Perry said he really liked the song, but added that he has always wondered why, in the 10 years that “Friends” was on the air, they never had even one black person on the show.

Jonny West, who did not make the top 2, realized that he messed up when he picked a song by the Dixie Chicks.

His girlfriend, “Cuddles”, pleaded with him to pick another song, but, for some reason, Jonny, without the “h”, insisted on singing “Hey, Cowboy, Put That Silly Old Lookin’ Thang Back In Your Pants Before I Text Your Mama”.

Lionel Richie said that it was okay, but added that he would have preferred the original version by Petula Clark.

And Francisco Martin, who resides in Hawaii, sang the Hawaiian classic by Danny Kaye, titled, “I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts”.

The lone cowboy in the top 5, Dillon James, sang the 1970s hit by the Lower 40 Uppity Cowpokes, titled, “I’ve Got Me A Good Old Southern Boy Hankerin’ To Butter Up Her Buns But Good”.

And so, now, Just Sam will be heading into the recording studio to record a duet with Blake Shelton.

The American Idol finale was sponsored by A&W Root Beer, the KKK, and Vagasil.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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