The Reason Why ABC Has Cancelled This Season’s Edition of “Dancing With The Stars”

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 25 April 2020

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There is just no way that the "DWTS" dancers could dance and adhere to the national 6-foot distancing mandate.

HOLLYWOOD – Television’s number one dance show has just announced that the new season has been cancelled.

An ABC spokesperson for "Dancing With The Stars" said that all of the dancers agreed that there was just no way that they could dance the cha cha, the rumba, the merengue, or even the hokey pokey while self-distancing the nationally mandated 6-feet.

English judge Len Goodman, who is 75, but looks 76, stated that he was bloomingly happy because now he gets to stay home in merry old England and tend to his crumpets and tea restaurant.

Judge Bruno Tonioli reportedly has been crying on and off for about 48 hours now, and the third judge Carrie Ann Inaba said, “Hey y’all, I don’t care, I’ve got me a pretty good talk show gig going, so as they say in northern Vermont, tough titty said the kitty.”

The show’s co-host Tom Bergeron said that he’ll just stay at home and work on his Stan Laurel impressions and eat manta ray sandwiches.

Meanwhile the 6-foot 2-inch tall Erin Andrews said that she will keep busy by trying to maintain her 70 calories a day diet.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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