Man Now Has Too Many Books

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 22 October 2019

image for Man Now Has Too Many Books
A selection of the man's books earlier

A man who has spent the past three years frantically combing charity shops for books, before transporting them back to his home abroad, has now realized that he has far too many of them to read in one lifetime.

Moys Kenwood, 56, makes an annual trip back home to East Yorkshire to see his mam, Val, 82, and together they traipse around the area, blitzing various locations, methodically scouring the tat shops for decent books that he might read 'at a later date', and when the mood takes him.

Having trawled through the bookshelves of these outlets, Kenwood then transports them back to his home in a suitcase, and, to avoid strict rules on baggage weight adhered to by airport check-in staff, in an innocuous-looking plastic bag, and even in his jacket's huge inside pockets.

These purchases complement a huge assortment of books acquired in Bangkok between 2011 and 2016.

The result: a bedroom full of books.

Initially having stored them in giant plastic boxes on wheels, his reading material has now 'spilled out' to fill areas of the room that they have no right being in, and may soon be removed from, if his wife gets her way. She said:

"Bloody books! I'm sick of dusting them! If he doesn't start reading them soon, we're going to be having a big garden bonfire in November!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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