Abrams Outlines Plans for a Future Sci-Fi Saga

Written by C/L

Saturday, 20 April 2019

image for Abrams Outlines Plans for a Future Sci-Fi Saga
The force is strong with this one.

In a recent interview about the final film installment, JJ Abrams discussed the future direction of the film franchise.

"I'm pleased, in more ways than one, to be putting the "Far Far Away" saga to bed, even though I'm pretty sure that it was done after the conclusion of the prequel films.

Abrams stated that the Comic-con crowd had heavy input into the content and feel of the final films, and boy, does it show!

Films seven, eight, and nine are basically an unwieldy-rehashing of the general story lines found in four, five, and six. The greatest difference being that seven, eight, and nine are incoherent and contain random thematic elements whirling around the screen in a grand cacophony of butt-clenching irritation.

Abrams explained that the magic kingdom's grand mastery of keeping production costs down, and its overall indifference to the franchise has inspired an ingenious plan among top executives to allow fans to completely create their own future saga.

We have been listening closely to irritating fans at numerous conventions and have decided that the upcoming films will be a wild hodge-podge of YouTube-style, low-budget productions.

Abrams feels that splicing together several thousand hours of irrelevant and random stories, filmed as is, will hopefully give the appearance of an ingenious production, even though we know it won't.

Utilizing a complex computer algorithm, the company has been able to glean an overall theme emerging from the "backed-up toilet'' of uploads.

The most relevant titles for the first films may be the following:

Episode I

Fan Geeks Battling Pointlessly
With Laser Swords in a Quest
to Get to the Bottom of Something

Episode II

Fan Geeks Engaging in Long
Leisurely Expositions all the While
Regurgitating Scripted Wisdom While
Dressed in Apprentice and Master Garb

Episode III

Exceedingly Long and Drawn Out
Climactic Laser Weapons Battle Finale
That Goes on so Long That Most of the
Audience Will Get Up and Leave the
Theater to Find Something Better
To Do With Their Time

Of course, these titles will be revised, but you get the gist of it. It's exciting, and at the same time disastrous. We can only hope to sell enough collectibles and inferior shitty toys before the whole thing tanks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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