News has reached us that the Autumn television schedules are to highlight one particular show, called 99 paperclips.
Ninety-nine paperclips will be broadcast every week for the next two years, and each week a celebrity or someone most people have never heard of will take a paperclip out of the box.
Using a series of phone-ins, telephone voting, and choose your own adventure type storytelling, the show will give oxygen to the careers of a few background artists in Grange Hill, and a few recording studio tea-boys.
Once the two years is up, Brexit will all be a distant memory, or that is at least the hope of our future oppressors.
