London - (Rotters): The UK's National Bullying Helpline has stepped into the controversy surrounding accusations of foul racist abuse and victimisation on Channel 4's Celebrity Pig Brother reality TV show with offers to sponsor the programme after the Carphone Whorehouse pulled the plug on its backing of the series.
The Helpline has issued a statement that amateurish attempts to abuse fellow-housemates can be honed to state-of-the-art perfection so that no complaints can ever stand screwtiny in a court of law.
Years of refining their professional techniques have resulted in priceless advice to millions of otherwise incompetent loudmouths whose slagging and bullying skills leave much to be desired.
The Helpline is a government-sponsored quango funded mainly by donations from the National Lottery.
A Channel 4 announcement is expected shortly.
