Ratings firms are amazed at the records being set by the Scamatology Network, which launched in March.
"It has the absolute lowest ratings we have ever seen," said a ratings executive. "It is the only network we have seen that, the majority of the time it's on the air, absolutely no one is actually watching."
Another executive chimed in with, "We conducted experiments on the content of the Scamatology Network to see why even really bad infomercials recieved higher ratings. We found that the average person is unable to watch five minutes without either having a sudden urgent need to change the channel, or falling asleep."
"Even though the Scamatology channel is available on YouTube, Roku, DirectTV, Apple devices, and more, no one seems willing to go to the channel more than once, if at all," said the spokersperson.