Written by Backandtotheleft

Thursday, 8 March 2018

A study has found that “empty nesters” are beginning to resent “boomerang” kids. Any idea what that means? Nope us neither but we’ll plough on anyway. It’s said that “baby boomers” are tired of “millennials” thinking they know all “the swag” and then scarpering home with their tails between their legs when they “run out of Pokemon to catch”.

The study discovered that upon returning to the “den” these “homing pigeon” offspring reduce the quality of life for the “birthers”. They generally do this by taking the piece of ham out of the fridge or not letting “Queen Bee” watch the Antiques Road Show.

Johnny Shimple said: I’ve been waiting for this bus for twenty minutes and then you start asking stupid fucking questions.

We really had to stop typing these stories out on our phone while waiting for the number 47.

The study went onto say (we think it did our internet ran out halfway through reading it): When “Boomers” moved out of their “’rents” home they were gone for good. With a strong work ethic and willing to destroy their backs for faceless shareholders they went out into the real world and shaped it to their liking. But these “Twitter weaned babies” wouldn’t know hard work it they were forced into the coal mines at gun point.

Although the content, results and overall point of this study is negligible we at Back and to the Left news are just glad there are funding bodies set up to hand University graduates money when they cant find real work.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Kids, Parents




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