George Michel Dead

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 26 December 2016

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There was sadness and sorrow in equal amounts this morning after news broke of the death of one of the City of London's most respected citizens, roadsweeper George Michel.

George, a father of four, finally succumbed on Christmas night after a long battle with 'overworkedness'. He was 54. He died at home surrounded by his family - son, Henry, and daughters Agnes, Hetty and Alice.

George's wife, Betty, said:

"He was a lovely man. He'd do anything for anybody. "Just ask", that was his slogan. Now he's gone. We'll miss him."

Hetty, 26, said:

"Dad was perfect, always there for us all, always smiling, even through adversity, he never let us down."

And friends of the family, and George's work colleagues were just as quick to pay tribute. One, long-time associate, Andy Ridgewell, told us:

"George lived his life as straight as an arrow. No wine, no women (apart from Bet), no drugs, no funny business. Pure as driven snow. Remarkable."

Another man in a nearby public toilet, who claimed he knew George, said:

"George never put a foot wrong, and he certainly weren't guilty of any lewd act."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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