Written by King David

Tuesday, 5 December 2006

image for Blockbuster Sign Falls on Homeless Man
The man had to be freed by firefighters

A Blue and Yellow Blockbuster sign fell on a homeless man today. The man, whose name was not released, was trapped beneath the sign for hours while firefighters worked to free him.

A spokesman from the American Cinematheque in Los Angeles said that this has not been the first time that Hollywood has bowled over the public. In 1937, Hollywood produced the movie, Gone With The Wind, which by today's standards, would gross well over $2 billion. Today, movies like Titanic, Lord of the Rings, and Pirates of the Caribbean have grossed well over $1 billion in sales.

Eye witnesses say that the man was standing beneath the sign apparently waiting to catch the bus when it came lose from the pole and mooring and fell on him. Owners of the Blockbuster store blames the wind for causing the sign to fall on the man.

"We have those signs checked on a monthly basis," said the store's owner Edward Mybridge.

This has not been the first time Hollywood has caused objects to fall out of the sky and threaten the American public. In 1980, Hollywood produced a movie called The Gods Must Be Crazy in which a Coke bottle fell out of the sky and almost hit an African Samburu warrior over the head. In 1939, Hollywood produced the classic, Wizard of Oz in which a house falls on top of the wicked witch of the East and kills her. And in 1938 Orson Welles created widespread panic in his narration of the classic, War of the Worlds(two Hollywood movie remakes) in which aliens drop out of the sky to invade Americans. And, of course everyone knows the fable of Chicken Little, which was remade into a Hollywood movie in 2005.

A spokesman for the sign company that produces the signs for the Blockbuster chain said that fault usually lies with the company that he contracts with. No reason was given as to why this was so other than, "That's just usually how we do business," he said.

Power would soon be restored to the sign after it is hoisted back onto the pole with a crane. The imprint of the man who the sign fell on will be left in the ground beneath the sign for commemoration. Concrete will be poured over the imprint to preserve it for future generations.

A spokesman for the man could not be found.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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