CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi – (Satire News) – The movie and video game rental service giant Blockbuster has just announced that its very last store has closed down. Manager Mildred Millamick, 47, said that their once humongous movie inventory of 18…
The film soon to be released "Blood on a White Rose" is already being forecast to clean up at next year's Oscars. It is a drama with class and style. One critic said, "If it were a painting it would be a Raphael." The film teams up, for one more...
The film is about a young world middleweight boxing champion Lance O'Flynn who is also a black belt in Karate and who gets conscripted by MI6 to be trained as a special agent. He shows himself a willing pupil and quickly masters seven languages plus quantum physics. His handsome Irish good looks and natural intelligence, as well as his ability to read the Kama Sutra in Urdu, make him a wow wit...
The Denver Broncos have signed one of the world's best sumo wrestlers to a two-year contract it was announced today. The Broncos front office told the Sporting News that with this guy playing center in front of him, they hope to keep Peyton Mannin...
A man was severely distruaght when finding out that he could not return his VHS movies to Blockbuster. . . because Blockbuster is no more! The man has been in a drunken stupor for decades. "I'm trying to get on the straight and narrow," he s...
HOLLYWOOD,CA-Insider sources at Lionsgate Entertainment say that the upcoming action sequel The Expendables 3 will forgo a traditional theatrical release in favor of home distribution via the Betamax format. "We felt it was the only way to reach our...
CALIFORNIA - In what people are calling the most shocking revelation known to mail order products and services, the United States Post Office has reported that Netflix has just canceled its subscription to itself. Post Office employee Jack Ripper...
Warner Brothers U.K. have announced to the world that the biggest ever disaster movie is due to hit the big screens later this year. The publicity material released by Warner Brothers makes exciting reading : You screamed at 'Last Day' in 1999 You thrilled at 'The Day After Tomorrow' in 2004 You were terrified by 'Meltdown: Days of Destruction' in 2006 But you ain't seen...
HOLLYWOOD - Two of the biggest movie bombs of the year, The Little Fockers and The Tourist are already available at most Blockbuster Video Stores and Red Box outlets throughout America, except for Doohickey, Arkansas which has neither a Blockbuster n...
Holy sh-t! Blockbuster Inc. has announced its intent to file for bankruptcy. Big f--king shocker. Despite financial geniuses writing stories like Blockbuster, 25, Dies After Prolonged Illness and Trust Me: Blockbuster Video Is Dead, the financi...
H&R Block, the company that last had an innovative idea when Bonanza was on TV, prove that they do not discriminate against who they choose to oppress via a lawsuit by their own employees, challenging the company-wide policy and practice of requi...
Following the runaway success of his 3D masterpiece, 'Avatar' James Cameron has no plans to bask in adulation or indeed let the grass grow under his feet. Cameron started shooting his latest blockbuster here in Hollywood on the Universal backlot r...
Tarquin Splint is Britain's most successful maker of erratic films to date. In 2001 he spotted a gap in the market and began casting for his first blockbuster 'Actinit', the story of the ill-fated White Stag loner who crashed into an iceberg lettuce and was drowsed. His reward was a place in the anals of cinema history and at his home in Beverley, I caught up with him to ask about his latest o...
This summer, several blockbuster movies will be opening. Get a jump on your summer fun: here's a preview of what we can expect!...
Agents from the F.B.I. (Federal Bureau of Investigation) shut down over 2600 Blockbuster Video stores and arrested almost 3000 store managers, employees, and company executives on charges of distributing child pornography (both at the stores and thro...
A Blue and Yellow Blockbuster sign fell on a homeless man today. The man, whose name was not released, was trapped beneath the sign for hours while firefighters worked to free him.
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