HOLLYWOOD, CA - Bruce Jenner shocked the world with his announcement that "he" plans on having his genitals replaced, so "he" can be the woman of his dreams.
Once the sex-change surgery is completed, Mr. Jenner plans to complete his transformation into a woman by dumping "his" cold-blooded Republican Party and becoming a bleeding-heart liberal Democrat.
In order to complete the transformation, Mr. Jenner has scheduled a cutting-edge operation: He plans on having his brain removed and will have an additional heart implanted in his head. He also plans to have valves and tubes installed between his new heart and his tear ducts to maximize his new "feelings"...
