Written by NerdInBriefs

Saturday, 9 August 2014

image for Joan Rivers Attacks Her Pro Palestinian Plastic Surgeon for Making Her Look Like Yassar Arafat - Israel Refuses Her Asylum As West Bank Rejoices

Joan Rivers recent comments seemingly to support Israeli actions, backfired as her Beverly Hills plastic surgeon took revenge. Apparently sick of being associated as Joan Rivers loyal plastic surgeon, he had been subjected to daily protests from anti Israeli demonstrators who stepped up actions on any one affiliated with pro- Israeli celebrities. As a liberal Jew who had grown up in the civil right movement, the surgeon struggled to cope with River's sometimes five hour rants against the pathetic Gazans.

Sources closes to the doctor say that Rivers believed she bankrolled the surgeon, through all of her visits over the years, and therefore she felt she owned his time. With complete disregard for all the other celebrities who were lining up outside in the waiting room, Rivers wrapped in the Israeli flag would bring in a lectern and subject the surgeon to a presentation of the latest facts from the Israeli side.

Apprehended by a TV crew, before she entered her Plastic Surgeon for her latest round of work, Rivers this week slammed Gazans for striking fear into vulnerable Israelis, many of whom, were now scared to visit their plastic surgeon. She cited cases of surgeons fleeing during surgery paranoid that they can hear air raid sirens, so leaving traumatised patients with half finished faces on the operating table.

''Imagine this was New Jersey doing this to you whilst getting a nip an tuck in the upper east side.' Little did Rivers know as she stepped into her surgery, her world would never be the same again.

Revenge is best served cold they say and the surgeon had had enough, deciding to take some Palestinian creative license with her face. Having studied the face of the long decreased Palestinian figure head Yasser Arafat, the surgeon reshaped Rivers face in an operation that took close to ten hours. Meanwhile more and more protestors had arrived, incensed by her rant in support of the suffering Israeli plastic surgery industry, little did they know they would be getting the shock of their life when she stepped out.

Rivers is well known for never looking in the mirror after surgery, so sure was she that her loyal surgeon knows best. Seeing the protestors as she left, Rivers launched into another round of attacks. However the protestors in shock at what they saw, began to cry tears of confused liberal joy ' Arafat in drag,' shouted one, ''I never thought I would see this in Los Angeles.'

News soon spread that Arafat was alive and well in Los Angeles, having disguised himself as a American-jewish female comedian. Now fearing for her life, a confused and distraught Rivers ran from the crowd who were hailing things in Arabic, seeking refuge in the Israeli embassy, but was to her horror locked in the reception area by concerned staff at the appearance of a more firmer skinned Arafat. Embassy staff then called Jerusalem and Benjamin Netanyahu to warn that Arafat was alive and well, and what should they do.

Meanwhile Palestinians in Southern California flocked to the Israeli embassy as news spread of the incarnation of Arafat, with the infamous throat singing echoing across into the San fernando valley.

This morning Rivers on discovering the full truth and the wicked betrayal, after seen her reflection in a plate of Palestinian sweets handed to her by her new fans, called this the most heinous crimes against plastic surgery, and for all moral upstanding surgeons to help track her rogue surgeon who has now gone into hiding. Rumours are being spread on the internet as to what other changes the surgeon undertook, with the possibility that Rivers blood is now more than 50 percent Palestinian.

Rivers had been desperately trying to locate a surgeon who will change her face back, but this in unlikely whilst she now remains stateless, waiting in Los Angeles airport for a country to accept her. The US has demanded her to leave the country as her new arab nationalist face was stoking up problems domestically and fear of bringing the intafada to Southern California and Michigan and other arab pockets in the US.

Gaza has also gone on the offensive, run by the anti Arafat Hamas which has vowed it will do anything it can to change Rivers face, worried that its own population will fondly remember the days under rivals Fatah. Israel meanwhile has turned on its so called champion supporter, Rivers, condemning what she now stands for. Netanyahu has called on the world to not offer asylum to Rivers, saying that looks are more important than the person behind this, and to them Rivers is indistinguishable from the man that strikes so much terror into the hearts of Israelis.

Over in the West Bank, Palestinians have been dancing in the street, and citizens downloading Rivers many comedy sketches to become better acquainted with the person they are now calling the saviour.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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