Written by Frank Michaels

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

image for Coming Soon: Mohammed - The Movie
One form of depiction under consideration for the movie, Mohammed'.

The recent movie, 'Noah' starring Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly, did well at the box office and has been holding its own for DVD and Blu-Ray sales, but it has also opened a new door for Hollywood to expand its footprint into the field of turning out flicks based on religion.

Horegone Slumpstool, a major script contributor to several recent faith-based excursions, had this to say:
"'Noah' was basically a Biblical story reworked into an ancient version of the 'Transformers' series. There were large, stoney creatures called 'Watchers' that were made using the same basic models as the more modern mechanical ones. From there, we knew we had a winner."

Slumpstool went on to suggest that Hollywood, which has been in something of a slump as far as successful output, may next approach another religion; Islam, and from there, test the waters to see what can work.
"Islam is very precarious and dangerous as they will go absolutely haywire if, say, their prophet of preference, Mohammed, is depicted in any way whatsoever. The concept now being weighed is of a depiction that requires no actor."

When asked to expand on that, the answer was both stunning and logical; Mohammed would be unseen... and empty spot on the big screen identified only by the footprints he leaves in the desert sand, the reaction his many wives would exhibit in different situations and the looks on the faces of those he confronts before annihilating them.

"We feel we could, perhaps, portray this man as an empty space in the scene and then use his interaction with other people and items of the environment around him to assure his location for those watching."

As of right now, the movie 'Mohammed' is still in the conceptual stages and if completed, would arrive at theaters without prior notice and with highly armed security personnel surrounding the cinemas to assure the safety of all movie goers.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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