Arrogant British twit, Piers Morgan, is to be replaced by a cushion and a chintzy throw on his now axed American talk show.
The wobbly faced argument maker, publicly hated in the UK, has worked hard to make the US public hate him just as much. With his pompous, holier-than-thou attitude the ex-newspaper editor finally bit the bullet and picked on the one thing he knew would make the US call to arms, gun laws!
With his face looking like a tramp's sleeping bag, all saggy and lived-in, he told of his bemusement at being axed.
"I don't understand it", he moaned, "I only went over there to tell other people what to do, like I'm the new messiah, to suggest they perhaps didn't freely go about killing one another and such like, and they sacked me! "
A big, shouty American who publicly peed his panties on Morgan's show when confronted with the possibility of a weapon-less society, looked really pleased with the news, as he took aim and shot someone nearby while 'whooping and hollering' just like in the Wild West (even though it's nothing like that anymore).
Morgan is expected to move to Australia, where he is little known, and is due to be axed there next spring.