Kathie Lee Gifford Says Lesbians Need To Get Back In The Closet

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 18 January 2014

image for Kathie Lee Gifford Says Lesbians Need To Get Back In The Closet
Kathie Lee Gifford shown without her black wig. (Photo courtesy of Piers Morgan).

NEW YORK CITY - Talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford has once again gone and stuck her size 10 shoe in her size 8 mouth.

Gifford talking with avowed lesbianite Jodie Foster said that she likes her and other lesbians like Melissa Etheridge, Robin Roberts, and Ellen DeGeneres but she added that they all really need to put their lesbionic persona back in the closet.

When Foster asked her why, Gifford got a puzzled look on her face and replied because it tends to scare the younger children who are already confused as the dickens to begin with.

Foster shook her head and told Gifford that she can tell that she is a descendant of the Salem witch hunters.

Gifford, who is married to the much, much older former New York Giants halfback Frank Gifford, remarked that she doesn't know about the Salem witch hunters but she does know that she is vaguely related to Joan of Arc, The Abominable Snowman, Johnny Appleseed, and Sacajawea.

Jodie stood up, took off her clip on microphone and told Gifford that she was leaving because she did not want her (Gifford) to have to breathe any more of her lesbionic air.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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