Kelly Clarkson Tells Her Critics That Her Weight Is Perfect

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

image for Kelly Clarkson Tells Her Critics That Her Weight Is Perfect
Kelly still drives the car she had back in high school which she named "Okra."

NASHVILLE - Kelly Clarkson recently said that ever since she got engaged she has been walking around on Cloud 9.

She spoke with Savannah Kettle of Glamboyant Magazine and said that she is proud to become a member of Reba "The Red Queen" McEntire's family.

Kelly's fiancé, Brandon Blackstock who is Reba's step-son, says he's never been happier, except for the time back in Colorado when he won $7,000 on an instant scratch off lottery ticket.

The pretty 31-year-old country music singer was asked about her constant yo-yo dieting. She grinned and said that she has decided that yo-yo dieting is not for her.

She giggled as she said that her husband-to-be told her that he likes her just the way she is and when she loses weight the shape of her tattoos are altered and they just don't look right.

Kelly asked Miss Kettle to be sure and let her critics know that the love of her life said that her weight is perfect.

Savannah said she would sure do it. She then asked the Texas native if she had gotten over her feud with Kelly Osbourne who had referred to her as Kell-O and said that she is the only female she knows whose love handles have love handles.

Clarkson made a face and said that Osbourne's face looks like an onion that has gone way past the expiration date.

She also noted that Osbourne is one to talk since she heard that Sharon and Ozzy's little fat girl salts her food with Tostitos Corn Chips.

SIDENOTE: After the interview was over, Kelly went up to Savannah and said that she had forgotten that Kelly Osbourne is addicted to a very strange fetish in that she is what is known in the therapy world as a self-tickler.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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