Tom Cruise Dates Rihanna In Hopes of Finally Dispelling Those Darn Gay Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 August 2013


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Tom Cruise Dates Rihanna In Hopes of Finally Dispelling Those Darn Gay Rumors
Tom has said that he is in talks to do a commercial for Purple Pow-Pow Condoms.

SAN FRANCISCO - Tom Cruise flew up to San Francisco to attend Rihanna's recent concert performance at the Veni, Vidi, Vici Coliseum.

He had called up the Barbadian beauty and told her that he wanted to take her out to dinner after she finished her San Francisco performance.

Of course Cruise did not mention it to Rihanna but he is in hopes that being seen with her will help stomp out some of the widespread gay rumors that have been floating around.

Even before Tom married Katie "The Smurfette" Holmes, he has heard the incessant rumors that he rides sidesaddle.

The Mission Impossible star has insisted that he is not a fairy nor even a switch hitter.

He has even gone to great expense and taken out full page ads in several Tinsel Town trade publications stating that he is as straight as Vice-President Joe Biden.

One of Tom's assistants recently suggested that perhaps he should start being seen with some of Hollywood's high profile actresses so that people see that he is quite the stud.

In the past Cruise has dated such LaLaLand beauties as Cameron Diaz, Julianne Hough, Heidi Montag, Kristen Stewart, and even the infamous Hollywood porn star Pretzel Garibaldi.

SIDENOTE: A close friend of Tom's informed Bedroom Pillow Talk that he hopes that he and Rihanna really get a lot of entertainment publication publicity showing the two engaged in some intimate merriment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more