Kirstie Alley Talks About Her Weight Loss and Weight Gain and The Voodoo Woman Who Was Responsible

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 25 July 2013

image for Kirstie Alley Talks About Her Weight Loss and Weight Gain and The Voodoo Woman Who Was Responsible
Voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette lives in the bayous outside of Lake Charles, Louisiana.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley has stated that she has pretty well tried every diet known to man.

She said she has gone on the Yogurt Diet, the Fettuccine Alfredo Diet, the Carrot Sticks Diet, and even the M&M's Diet but they did not work worth a flip.

Alley was told by noted Louisiana voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette that she really needs to lose weight otherwise she is going to have to move to a bigger house with more closet space for her tons and tons of clothes.

In 2011, Kirstie visited Madam Lafayette who cast a voodoo magic weight loss spell on her. The former Cheers star said she was simply amazed because within two weeks she had lost an unbelievable 27 pounds.

Alley was told not to reveal the fact that Madam Lafayette had used several insect ingredients in her magic potion. Kirstie slipped up and mentioned on The View to Barbara Walters about the insect potion and Madam Lafayette became furious.

Within 24 hours PETA had contacted Miss Lafayette and told her to stop using insects in her magic diet spell potions or she would be charged with mistreating state-protected insects.

Angrily Madam Lafayette immediately cancelled Kirstie's voodoo magic weight loss spell and within four days the actress and former Dancing With The Stars contestant gained the 27 pounds back plus 4 more pounds.

Kirstie revealed that she received a text message from Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette that read:

Mumbo jumbo bayou bird.
You broke the promise to keep your word.
The magic spell will be your fate.
And now you're doomed to put on weight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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