Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

image for Rihanna In A Fit of Rage Destroys Her Chris Brown Bobblehead Doll
Rihanna plans to return her cat Oprah, back to the alley-catting jerk Chris.

TUCSON - Rihanna was in town as the featured guest speaker at The Annual Battered Women Who Forgive Their Husbands and/or Boyfriends Convention.

The Caribbean beauty told the group that she has caught a lot of flack from millions of American women who are not happy at the fact that she has so quickly and so easily forgiven the individual who literally beat the music out of her.

Rihanna says that if she chooses to forgive Chris Brown then it is no one's business but hers, Chrissy's, and the president of her fan club LaTundra P. Jefferson, 19.

The Barbadian babe was recently taken to task by Taffeta Kixx, a reporter for The Gossipette Gazette for publicizing the fact that if a man beats a woman it is no big deal.

Miss Kixx said that Rihanna needs to be ashamed of herself for sending such a horrible message to America's young women, some of whom still idolize her.

The reporter showed Rihanna several recent photos that were taken of Chris partying with a long-legged, sultry blonde sitting on his lap. When she saw the pictures the 25-year-old singer exploded.

She took the photos and looked at them real close. She then turned them upside down.

The "Umbrella" singer then reached in her purse and took out a Chris Brown Bobblehead Doll. She then proceeded to break the doll in at least a dozen pieces.

"Chris is a jerk, a real unfaithful jerk. And to think that I forgave him for treating me like a friggin piƱata."

SIDENOTE: Rihanna told Miss Kixx that Russell Brand has asked her out and now that Brown is messing with a long-legged, sultry blonde she may just take the weird-looking British Space Cadet up on his offer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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