Men, do you have no idea what women are saying to you? Not a substantive clue what they really mean or feel? Well try Russ's new "Hologram White Caption Bubble" App for your smart phone. When your lady is speaking in that unintelligible language of hers, just click on the "HWCB" App and instantly understand WTH she is talking about. Just read the cognitive translation above her head, for example:
"I need more romance in our life". Now, you think of course she speaks of procreative activities. But you click the App and poof, "Bring me flowers, hug me for no reason, give me a day off from child tending, hold my hand in public, or take me for a long walk on the beach". While these tasks seem outlandishly alien to you, you realize, HOLY COW, I was waaay off! Thank god for the HWCB! But wait, act now and get the free "Sarcastically Subtle Decoder"...
"Do you like her hair darling"? Poof, HWCB-SSD says what she really means, "Why don't you just walk over and maul her you primitive Neanderthal horn toad! Show a little respect and act a little more interested in ME you knuckle dragging Orangutan"!
