How long will I have to wait? There's an app for that

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 18 October 2012

image for How long will I have to wait? There's an app for that
How long will it take to get to the 19th Hole?

Everybody has been, at some point, stood in a queue. Whether it is a queue for a roller coaster or for a Subway Meal Deal, it is sometimes handy to know how long it will take to get through the queue. Step forward (if the queue's moved on) the latest Applelet from Bob's App Attic: iQueue.

"This a great app," said Mac Buck, editor of App World!. "It's invaluable when I'm hungry and deciding which of the two Cheeze Wheeze stores to visit."

The app uses the camera to gauge the length of the queue, counting the number of people in it, and how fast the queue is moving. According to Buck, this stage takes a couple of minutes.

"It's a complicated algorithm," said Buck. "However, it's worth the wait."

Buck has tried the app at two theme parks, and at every Cheeze Wheeze within a two mile radius of his office.

"I'd have done a three mile radius," he said. "But I was full."

The App correctly calculated the time it took to navigate from the end of the queue to the front to within a minute.

"I've discovered that the signs at theme parks that say 'half an hour from here' are woefully inadequate," said Buck. "They are consistently ten percent out, and the wrong side too! It was thirty-three minutes from the half an hour from here sign. This isn't good enough, and I've emailed Universal Studios to tell them."

According to a leaked memo from Bob's App Attic, version two of the app will allow the app owner to simultaneously text every mobile of the people in the queue ahead of the app owner, with an urgent message that they have to be somewhere else.

"I can't wait for that version," said Buck. "It'll help me get to the Cheeze Wheeze counter before I faint from hunger."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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