Written by Gary Potter

Friday, 26 October 2012

image for Pluck Me! Jurassic Park to be refilmed exclusive!
Pluck off, feathers are so last season!

According to 'scientists' one of the dinosaurs depicted in the groundbreaking film Jurassic Park, didn't have scales but feathers!!

Bungling buffoons had originally said that Ornithomimids, the OSTRICH LIKE dinosaur had a scaly skin, and so that is how it was drawn in the endless reconstructions in kids dinosaur books and portrayed in cgi mockumentaries. Now 'researchers' from the university of Calgari have decided that infact the Ornithomimid was feathered.

The Ornithomimid was flightless and so the 'scientists' are suggesting that the creature decided to grow feathers to help attract a mate, before eventually deciding to grow full sized wings to fly.

We managed to get hold of atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins to ask how evolution could explain such evident nonsense. He said "Evolution is true. Characteristics are passed from parent to child by the genetic code alone. Evolution is true. Nowadays, genetic mutations produce deadly consequences such as abnormalities and cancers, but way back in evolution time, mutations produced benefits such as eyes, ears, and in this case feathers. Evolution is true. When these countless billions of beneficial mutations take place we have a banana evolving into a human. Evolution is true. Yes it's true that we have never seen a mutation that causes anything other than harm to the genome, but that does not mean that science might not have worked differently in the past. Have I insisted that evolution is true?"

Our scientist had this to say "Utter bollocks. The implication that something as intricate and complex as a feather would first be evolutionary advantageous as a mating attraction is sheer nonsense. Did the advantage of having feathers to attract a mate go out of fashion with our scaly dinosaur friends? That this advantage would then evolve further into producing the physiological changes to change a land based animal into a flying creature is beyond improbable. Do adults really still believe in evolution? I know we are close to the halloween season, but do people really still believe in such witchcraft?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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