Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 3 June 2012

image for Arizona Immediately Bans All Green Lantern Bobblehead Dolls After The Super Hero Announces He's Gay
Governor Jan Brewer's summer home, Casa Caliente, located in Yuma is shown on the left. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

PHOENIX - In a move that has surprised many fans of The Green Lantern, the state of Arizona has banned the sale of all Green Lantern Bobblehead Dolls.

According to Taffeta Kixx with the iRumors News Agency, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has just signed a Governors Mandate Directive (GMD-41) making it illegal for any toy store, retail store, convenience store, or beauty salon to sell Green Lantern Bobblehead Dolls.

Governor Brewer told Miss Kixx that prior to signing the GMD she consulted with Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio who informed her that he agreed with her 103 percent.

Sheriff Arpaio, who proclaims himself to be the best sheriff in the entire United States, shook his head and said that he could not believe what this world is coming to.

He pointed out that he personally had to take away his 6-year-old nephew Dusty Arpaio's Green Lantern Bobblehead Doll and explain to him why he had to take it out in the backyard and burn it.

Needless to say Sheriff Arpaio has been severely criticized by many individuals including fellow Republicans Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity, Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter, and Bryton "Skippy" Hessyfeather who is the biggest Green Lantern fan in the United States.

Governor Brewer speaking with Miss Kixx at a local Flat As A Pancake Pancake House stressed that she is so afraid that this will open up the gay floodgates and next we may learn that Muppets Bert and Ernie are planning on getting married.

Miss Kixx told the governor that her remarks were utterly ridiculous. Governor Jan "The Man" responded by asking, "Hey Taffy, who ever would have thought that Rock Hudson was gay? or Ricky Martin? or John Travolta? or Tom Cruise?"

Kixx shot back saying that there is no real, documented proof that either Travolta or Cruise are gay.

The governor rolled her eyes and added, "Well Clay Aiken, Elton John, Ellen DeGeneres, and that Glee woman Jane Lynch are certainly gay."

Taffeta Kixx just shook her head as she took a sip from her bottle of Coke Zero.

In World Health News. Research doctors in Laos have discovered a pill that when taken orally one time can cure the common cold in just 35 seconds. Unfortunately right now each pill costs $37,000.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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