Written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 30 January 2012

image for Android Phones Upgraded with Jan Brewer Touch Screen
"Im sorry Jan, you were about to poke me in the chest?"

Soon to become popular with political pundits, legislators or anyone who likes to point firmly with an index finger, Android phones and related apps will be upgraded to accommodate a Jan Brewer-like pounding of the touch screen.

Previously designed to accept sensitive touch feedback from Android phone users, the screen did not respond well to firm finger tapping as a means to convey a command. "We had received some complaints", said Android assistant screen designer, Harden Pressman. "Our phones, just like the President, didn't respond well to firm finger pressure".

The new phones reportedly respond well to a constant pounding of the screen with the index finger for those users who prefer to hammer their point home. Future phones are also being designed to accommodate a variety of touch pressure users, from meek NASA engineers to politicians with an inflated and empowered sense of self.

"We're also working on eye and head movement recognition software for the next generation of Android phone", says Pressman. "We're calling it the Bill Clinton model. You can activate an app with a wink and a nod".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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