J-Lo and Mariah Carey Line Up at Justin Bieber's Back Door for 18th Birthday

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 1 March 2012

image for J-Lo and Mariah Carey Line Up at Justin Bieber's Back Door for 18th Birthday
J-Lo's nipple slip dress ready for Justin's approval.

Reportedly not wanting to miss out on the celebratory and legal milestone birthday fun, both Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez were seen just outside the festivities at Justin Bieber's 18th birthday bash.

While publicists for the two mature entertainers were frantically busy claiming that the ladies were only there to offer their birthday congratulations through song, some evidence was visible that challenged those claims. Ms. Lopez arrived in the same Academy Awards dress now famous for its frequent albeit "accidental" nipple slips, and Ms. Carey was wearing the same mini skirt Santa Claus costume she wore with Bieber while filming her Christmas video, and there was no need to look for visible panty lines in her costume.

A Bieber family member was seen at the back door refusing to allow either of the two stars access to the party, reportedly sensing the smell of a cougar on the prowl. "I know they both like their men at least 20 years younger", said Karen Filtch, Bieber's Great Aunt, twice removed on his mother's side. "They say my nephew is complicated, incredibly attractive, talented, in tremendous shape with a rock hard ass", said Filtch. "But he is NOT complicated", stressed Filtch.

Outside the door, a muffled conversation continued between the entertainment super stars, where only the word "statutory" could be discerned, followed by the response "not anymore".

Justin could not be reached for comment during the festivities though insiders confirm that he did have a great time at the party. "We never saw him much", said Filtch, "but he was always smiling".

There was no confirmation that the tall female figure seen leaving the party's front door covered in a hooded jacket was actually Demi Moore, but the body language and stride out towards an awaiting cab was reminiscent of a collegiate dorm room "walk of shame".

In a related story, ABC's Courtney Cox and her television producers are now reportedly ready to approach Bieber with an offer for a starring role in 6 episodes of CougarTown. Bieber will play the victim. Sort of.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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