Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 16 February 2012

image for Kim Kardashian Denies The Scandalous Rumors About Her, Russell Brand, and Third Base
Kim says that some days she just feels like running away to Iceland. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

VENICE BEACH - Kim Kardashian says that lately it seems like she is having to spend more time denying rumors than taking care of her many business ventures.

Kim recently made International headlines when she divorced her professional NBA basketball player Kris Humphries after a marriage that only lasted 72 days.

She now says that she is extremely upset at the entertainment media for constantly hounding her and making her appear like she is the 'bad guy' or the 'bad gal' in the marital breakup.

KimKar, as Kobe Bryant calls her, recently remarked to Showbiz Gazette's Macadamia Honeysuckle that at times she feels as if she is on an emotional roller coaster ride from hell and she forgot her parachute.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have no idea what the hell the Kimster meant by that remark. Is it a mixed metaphor or is she just simply mixed up big time?]

Miss Honeysuckle asked Kim about the rumor that she was seeing ex-boyfriend, NFL football player Reggis Bush.

She made a face and replied that she had not seen Reggie since October when they had lunch at a local Burger Bandit in El Segundo.

Miss H then asked about the rumor regarding another NFL ex-boyfriend Miles Austin.

KimKar giggled and said that she has not seen Miles since Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told him to dump (her) or he would be traded to the Tegucigalpa Taco Makers of The Honduras Semi-Pro Football League quicker than he could say 'big bottomed babe.'

The Showbiz Gazette reporter then asked Kardashian to comment on the rumors that her and Katy Perry's soon-to-be-ex Russell Brand were reportedly recently seen parked in the parking lot of The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana.

A puzzled and curious Kardashian asked what exactly where her and Russell supposed to have been doing? Miss H replied that her unnamed highly reliable source had informed her that the couple was in Russell's 2012 Ferrari 458 Italia and that it kind of appeared that he had gotten to third base.

Kim let out a somewhat controlled scream and said that it was a total and complete fabrication and that it has been at least six years since she has been to The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo.

In other news. Vanessa Bryant, who filed for divorce from Kobe "Mr. 105" Bryant, says that the photo of her and Charlie Sheen which appeared in the supermarket tabloid 'Just Saying' has been photoshopped. She added that she does not own a pair of pink basketball earrings.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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