Kimmie 'Cries The Blues'

Funny story written by TAR

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

image for Kimmie 'Cries The Blues'

Don't let the bikini Twitter pic fool you or any on else. Nor the vow that she's totally committed to "new beginnings, somewhere, somehow and someplace."  The totally shocking revelation is out!

Kimmie  Kardishian says she is is totally alone and totally a Hollywood mess, according to Beulah Witzenhausen of Stunning Life & Style.

"She stays home all the time staring at the gilded walls, watching HSC and polishing her collection of 'Joan Rivers, authentic jewelry. It's like she's totally afraid to be in public," a super close confidant tells the tabloid.

Somehow, though, some way, Kimmie put on her latest Serengeties, got the courage up and hit the big bad apple on January 22, going out for a swanky dinner at NYC Zelda's Eatery, with pals Loren Ridalong and Jonathan Shebang...where an earshot witness from ETZ magazine overheard the reality super star whimpering and totally whining:

"OMG...I am so totally alone. I didn't expect all of this total loneliness. It's devastating to be so totally beautiful and so totally alone and nobody wants me or my totally gorgeous full figured body."

Even Kimmie's step dad admitted to Stunning Life & Style that his step-daughter is going through a totally super rough and tough time, bashing the feminist movement and saying: "It's tough for a totally super gorgeous woman at 30 - not married, no kids, no boyfriend and no life. Kimmie's an idealist and a dead head follower, and heaven knows in my totally famous family as we all know, the ideal situation for any famous woman at the ripe age of 30 is to have a totally famous husband, be a gorgeous totally famous housewife and have lots of totally famous babies."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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