Written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 5 January 2012

image for Celebrity Wife Swap Producers Promise to Deliver Edgy TV
"Honey, you're gonna get to spend some time with another husband, OK?"

As if the title or the format of the new reality show weren't edgy enough, the first few episodes of the new reality series will carry enough outrageous sensationalism to cast all viewers down into the depths of Hades. Producers hope at least, that the show content will actually be that racy for the duration of the series.

Featuring the physical and verbal flamboyance of one Mr. Gary Busey, and that description assumes that he is actually taking his medication, combined with the boy next door innocence of former evangelical pastor and male prostitute customer, Ted Haggard, the first episode should be a dandy.

"What better way to mend a troubled marriage after soliciting a male hooker then to send your wife over to partner up with Gary Busey", says assistant producer Mel Anoma, trying to justify the subject matter and participants of the show. "Hey, she signed a release form", added Anoma.

While filming continues and only bits and sound bites are available from the closed set, insiders claim that it's about as bad as bad can get. "They've actually set up vomit stations all round the set with an ample supply of self sealing bags, as well as a counseling center for the crew", says show Grip, Andy Bloomey. "It's bloody aweful and woefully dysfunctional".

"And that's why it will be a hit", says Anoma. "It's so bad, it's good. I'm not quite sure what the whole thing says about the current state of our society, but what the hell, my pockets are lined quite nicely".

There's reportedly no shortage of under worked or barely paid actors to draw on for future seasons either. "They're lined up, actually", says Anoma. "We'll have to expand the franchise soon. Celebrity Wife Swap Hollywood, Celebrity Wife Swap New York, Celebrity Wife Swap London!" Anoma could be seen with a sizable boner protruding from his circa 1980's autographed MC Hammer parachute pants.

Television critics are rolling over on the floor over this new permutation of reality show, only because they're not yet in the grave. "We thought shows about stupid rich people with big hair and big body parts would be enough debauchery for the public, but apparently not", says critic Ken Yadoomi. "Watching Busey with the preacher's wife made my eyes bleed, but I couldn't turn away". Yadoomi doubled over to fight the simultaneous effects of gut wrenching sadness and nausea. "God forgive me", added Yadoomi. "Can you turn up the volume just a bit?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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