Written by TAR

Thursday, 5 January 2012

image for Angelena Rumoured To Be 'Outraged'
'How Could You'

The tabloids are starting off 2012 with a sham wow bang.

Taking the art of fabricating scandals about Brat Pitt, Angelena Jolies and Jennifur Anistan to new extreme heights, Star Talk claims Ange flew out the door and temporarily left Brat after finding out that he knocked up Jenn... which unfortunately she miscarried at the height of her mega career...Hmmmm... in 2004 ... while married to Brat.

Seriously now, they printed this again! A "reliable source" said:  "Ange assumed all along she was the only one Brat had ever knocked up.  Now Ange is questioning everything in their past including whether she can ever trust the brazen Brat again."

That has her thinking of leaving the scoundrel for good, supposedly. Maybe, OMG!

"Brat doesn't dare tell Ange everything, especially when it comes to his brief relationship with plain ordinary Jenn," adds the source. "The mention of Jenn makes Ange go totally and completely and undeniably irrational." (That part we buy hands down.)

"But he never imagined this would infuriate Ange to the extent that she could turn Perrier to ice. Now this unfounded revelation could spell the end of the family forever." Terrible brutal, there's no other way to describe the sensationalism.

It gets even better, incredibly. The Hollywood Enquirer says, simultaneously, that in related never ending news ... Angelena Jolies is prego right now! In another startling development ...

Sources say the thrilled Oscar winner is at the very least three months along and can't hide her telltale mid-rift bump ... which is clearly not visible in any of her recent interviews wearing hip hugging designer fashions from Mozambique.

"Brat and Ange are ecstatic," an insider said of little tyke #7, allegedly due sometime this year. "They've been trying to conceive forever and where ever time permitted, working around their horrendous schedules."

"It was always their goal to have another bio kid and Ange is desperate to become a Hollywood octomom."

"They want to adopt at least one more rug rat down the line. But at a mere 36, Angie's wonky biological clock has been ticking tocking like hell. With all of her medical woes lately, she and Brat consider it an immaculate miracle that she was able to conceive."

Ange had a very rough time and with her new movie premiere she has strug­gled daily to keep weight on her twiggy frame. However, "she's put a bit of beef on over  the holidays, stuffing herself with turkey tofu and delicious yummy gummy bears."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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