Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 26 November 2011

image for The Real Life Twilight Saga Affair Between Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Is Over
This is the rhinoceros that RPattz gave to K-Stew this past Valentine's Day. (Photo by Boo Boo Stewart).

HOLLYWOOD - The movie The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 is the top movie in the nation and the two main stars Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totally thrilled but behind-the-scenes it's another story altogether.

According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres the happy couple is no longer happy. In fact, Zeppelin reveals that the couple known as RPattz and K-Stew have ended their personal relationship after four years.

The decision actually came from Pattinson who said that he just felt that the two had gone as far in their relationship as they could without actually joining in wedded bliss.

He then coyly added that he did not want to end up getting Kristen pregnant because at this stage of their lives things would really get complicated and he did not want to have to submit to DNA testing.

He said that although he still loves Kristen, who he says has so many great traits, he decided that it was simply time for him to move on to greener pastures as they say down in the lush cattle feedlots of Texas.

Meanwhile Kristen is taking it hard especially since she came very close to getting a tramp stamp tattoo with Rob's name.

She said that she had already left a deposit with noted Left Coast tattoo artist Bong Bong, who has done body ink work on Angelina Jolie, Kat Von D, Ke$ha, Nancy Pelosi, and Eva Longoria.

When Zeppelin asked Pattinson about all of the gifts that he had given to Stewart he replied that she could keep them all including the baby rhinoceros he gave her for last Valentine's Day.

Stewart was told what Rob had said about the gifts and she replied that she would be packing all of the dozens of gift items that Rob had given her and she would be FedExing them all back to him.

When Zepp asked her about the rhinoceros, which is now fully grown, she shook her head and said that she would be donating it to the San Diego Zoo.

Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres will keep you posted on any developing developments which could possibly turn somewhat ugly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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