Barney Frank Denies Being Reason For Kardashian Breakup

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

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WASHINGTON: Congressman Barney Frank took time from his busy schedule of running a gay prostitution service from the basement of his Georgetown townhouse to deny reports that he was responsible for hooking up Kris Humphries with one of his stable of professional escorts.

Lisping and spitting at the ESPN and Sports Illustrated reporters who were just dying to connect the dots between rumors of Humphries being seen without his wedding band while guzzling Greyhounds at a suburban Washington bar, known for being a gathering spot for unemployed NBA players and light-in-the-loafers government workers, Congressman Frank denied any responsibility for the surprise ending of what was described as a "no-brainer-can't miss" marriage between the voluptuous Kardashian and the tall-lanky NBA forward.

Frank, who once suggested that the only thing that kept him from becoming a professional basketball player was his lack of height and his sputtering lisp that kept his low-cut Converse All-Stars from gaining traction on the maples, was his desire to serve the community of gays in Washington with a discreet source of sexual outlets with vagabond basketball players.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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