Paul "Gold Mine" McCartney Marries Again And Explains Why

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Paul "Gold Mine" McCartney Marries Again And Explains Why
Paul McCartney in a photo taken in March of 1964. (Photo from the Ed Sullivan Photo Collection).

LONDON, England - Former Beatle Paul McCartney has married for a third time. And the new Mrs. Paul McCartney is American heiress Nancy Shevell, 51.

Guests included Ringo Starr, Twiggy, Barbara Walters, Ron Wood, Angus T. Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Ron Artest, who is now known as Metta World Peace, and Todd Palin who showed up minus his wife Sarah Palin who he said was back in Wasilla, Alaska nursing a severely bruised ego.

Music for the wedding reception which was held at McCartney's Fool On The Hill Manor located in St. John's Wood was provided by Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.

The lovely seven-tiered wedding cake was personally baked by McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills, who presented it to Paul and Nancy as a special wedding present from her.

Paul who is 69, and a bit on the leery side had Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood taste the wedding cake before anyone else. Wood said it was delicious and said it tasted a little bit like a fish taco.

McCartney's net worth estimated to be $800 million was candidly asked by Gazebo Serengeti of Bedroom Pillow Talk why he would even remotely think about getting married again knowing that his last marriage to Heather Mills which ended in divorce ended up costing him $35 million in the divorce settlement.

McCartney smiled and said that it was actually $37.7 million. He shook his head and told Serengeti that he is just the type of man who has to have a wife so that he can go around saying things like, "Ya know mate da other day I sez to me wife I sez..." and "My wifey she can make da best bloomin' bloody blueberry crumpets I've ever et."

Serengeti told him that he got all that and perfectly understood but asked him if it was all worth close to $40 million.

McCartney became somewhat upset and asked him why he felt that they would end up getting divorced. Serengeti stated that it was just the natural progression of celebrity marriages and there were only a few rare exceptions such as Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman who have been married for 25 years.

Sir Paul called Metta World Peace, the Los Angeles Laker formerly known as Ron Artest and asked him if he would please escort Mr. Serengeti to his car.

Metta asked McCartney which car was his. And Paul replied, "No not me car mate, Mr. Serengeti's car."

Metta asked McCartney if Serengeti was a soccer player. McCartney replied that he wasn't and that in England they are called football players.

Mr. World Peace got a puzzled look on his face and told him that he was going back inside and that he would send Ringo out instead.

SIDENOTE: BPT reported that Serengeti ended up leaving with Monica Lewinsky.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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