Jimmy Choo Boutiques Renamed AmeriJesus FlagSaddle

Funny story written by Q. William Bacon

Monday, 22 November 2010


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Jimmy Choo fashions have come to Main Street, USA

LONDON - Jimmy Choo, operator of haute couture shoe and apparel stores, has changed its name in order to enhance the image of its retail outlets in America.

Tamara Mellon, Vogue editor and Choo co-founder, explains:

"Americans are less likely to buy a product when they learn it's made by a Chinese company. That's why major Chinese retail companies have Western-sounding names like Lenovo, Haier, and Geely. We wanted to change our name to something more American.

"At first, we tried to stick close to the sound of Jimmy Choo: Gemini Two; Achoo!; SlimJim Leather-Chew Shoes. But nothing was working.

"So we tried fresh modern names: StarFinity; PrimeNow; VisionCore; YesPoint; YesPrime NowStar; The Desert River Valley Mountain Shoe Company.

"Then we fell back on 'X Shoes'. 'X' can apply to anything. But finally, we hit upon the perfect name for an American mall storefront."

Jimmy himself was not granting interviews, but he did issue a brief statement. "I don't understand what's going on. I was born in Malaysia, and the company is in England with manufacturers in Italy," said the contractually obligated Jimmy AmeriJesus FlagSaddle.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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