US Right Wingers Take Leaf From Philippino Book Over Anthem

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

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Right-wing republicans are backing a plan that will stop soulful, rocked-up or jazzy renditions of The Star-Spangled Banner.

The idea comes in the wake of a vote by lawmakers in the Philippines to fine and jail people who get their anthem wrong. The move is intended to foster patriotism in the state.

A source close to a group of right wingers in the GOP said: "Looks like those Philippinos have hit on an idea here.

"We're always pretty hot on flag burning, but we should go after people who abuse the anthem too.

"My God, sir, you hear it mangled sometimes. I've been at events when you can't make anything out after 'Oh, say can you see.'

"Personally, I'd have given Mariah Carey the chair for her effort!

"And we should go after people retrospectively too. We should pursue Jimi Hendrix for that noise he made at Woodstock."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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