Rental Costs Soar for Evil Lairs in Britain

Written by Inhopeless

Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for Rental Costs Soar for Evil Lairs in Britain
Shoddy building (Caption: Would A Civillian Live in This? Neither do Our Supervillians)

LONDON - The cost of renting a civilian dwelling in Britain has increased by over 4.5%. However, the hardest hit are evil megaminds.

Evil geniuses, hit by increasing amounts of police arrests and lack of genius work due to people wanting to watch the X-Factor, are looking to rent secret lairs, instead of buying.

"I used to own a big lair," said Dr. Von Scary. "in the city centre of Birmingham. Near to local shops to buy my supplies, close to power supplies, and great public transport. But I've had to foreclose on that and rent out a shabby basement lair in East Birmingham! Nothing there! The locals are so hard to brainwash, cause they only care about dole money."

According to a new report by the Ministry of Bad Guys here are the average rents on several types of lairs.

- Underground Lair, with laser, giant lab, customary evil music generator (£800pm)
- Aboveground lair with same options (£650pm)
- Average medium-sized civillian flat ($615pm)

Lobbyists for the LoSE (League of Super-Evil) are crying out for government stimulus for the nation's evil geniuses.

"Shops like EvilSDA and Menacebury's," said Dr. Sarah De Eveel. "have all the tools the darksiders want, but they are shoddy compared to the stuff the people at Evil Bank (former Lehman's Brothers) have stolen from the rest of the villian community."

"They gotta understand that villians are horribly paranoid people too."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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