Throughout the world, interest has been growing in the recent engagement of Prince William and the quite fit commoner Kate Middleton. Already, investors are expecting the UK to receive a massive boost in income due to the wedding next year.
The UK is expected to overtake China to become the world's leading exporter of tacky trinkets and commemorative plates. Rumours are circulating that the PM David Cameron "twisted Will's arm" to get him to propose this year.
What's more, it is expected that the following year, hilarious Nazi-costume wearing Prince Harry will get married to his tarty South African girlfriend Chelsy. British tat manufacturers are literally foaming at the penis in excitement at the prospect of two weddings in two years, during which they are likely to make a serious profit.
After that, we then have Charles + Camilla, Harry's second wedding, and the reanimated corpse of Princess Diana plus an undecided man (sources have mentioned Michael Jackson, for the marriage literally made in heaven).
We can only dream of what the future will bring, and Britain can hold its head up high that we will continue to spread news of our royals to everyone in the world, while forcing them to buy our tabloids and official memorabilia.
