LSE's Share Of Trade Stabilised: Dirty Tricks Denied

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 30 September 2010

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The London Stock Exchange has denied that it has used bullying tactics to stabilise its share of blue-chip trading.

Figures show that the LSE's share of trading over the past five months has averaged at 57 per cent.

But allegations by rivals that LSE employees have been using threatening tactics to scare them off have been pooh-poohed.

"Look, it's business," said a spokesman. "If a guy can't take the rough-and-tumble of City life, then he shouldn't be there.

"Some of the lads might get a little over-enthusiastic, but I categorically deny that we have been round rivals' offices with cricket bats and knuckle dusters.

"Nor were any threats of castration of traders from other offices sanctioned by our organisation. I deny that completely. That was bang out of order."

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